Advice column #1: forgiving?

"Hi, i'm having trouble forgiving someone. All my childhood my cousin has been hitting me, and i now we are almost adults now but he still makes fun of me about my weight and my career and if i speak my mind then every member of my family tells me to calm down that is just a joke. And i just cant forget every time he did something horrible to me, im glad is over but he still makes jokes about everything i do and i don't know what to do. Help please"

Forgiveness is something that needs to be earned, and cannot be forced. I feel that if he still continues to torment you about your personal life forgiveness is not necessary. The best thing you can do may be to distance yourself from him and give yourself time to heal from what he has done to you during your childhood. It is clear that he has not learned from his mistakes as he still continues to pick apart your personal matters. I would say to speak to him about how his behaviour has been affecting you. After all, jokes aren’t jokes if the receiving end is not humoured by it but instead tormented by it. If he didn’t receive it well or continues to treat you poorly, then I think it is only right for you to cut him off. It’s your life, and with adulthood, you can choose who remains significant in it. Surrounding yourself with people who continue to provide you with positiveness and love is the only right move. If he is truly worthy of being in your life he will reevaluate and adjust his behaviour to a manner that will not affect you negatively.