Social Anxiety

We all have seen in TV shows and movies that a specific character is always nervous or anxious to talk to someone or get creeped out being in public. We laugh at the faces they make and the dark jokes that are said about them, yet we must remember that people in real life act sometimes the same way. Most of the characters that have this trope are used as comic relief for their disability when in reality we shouldn’t use this as an excuse to laugh. The excuse that is used is that these characters have what is called: “Social Anxiety”, a form of anxiety that is presented by being periodically anxious or having extreme fear in social environments. A social environment includes: speaking to others, dating, going to school or work, doing presentations, eating in front of others, and starting conversations (WebMD, 2017). The symptoms of social anxiety aren’t only feeling extreme anxiety or fear, there can also be physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat or breathing, dizziness, muscle tension, extreme sweating, and nausea (Felman, 2020).

Hypothetically you were recently diagnosed by a professional with social anxiety, now what do you do? Sadly there is no magical word that cures the feeling or a routine that will solve it all, yet you can start building resilience towards it by creating methods that can help reduce that anxiety. For example, one can do breathing exercises like the one mentioned below:

“Sit down in a comfortable position with your back straight, relax your shoulders, put one hand on your belly and the other on your chest, breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 seconds, the hand that’s on your belly will rise and the one on your chest shouldn’t move much, hold your breath in for 2 seconds and then slowly let it out through your mouth for 6 seconds, repeat this several times until you feel relaxed.” (WebMD, 2017)

Another way is doing daily exercise, and it doesn’t have to be an intense cardio session. You can go for a relaxing jog/walk, doing yoga, going sightseeing, stretching after waking up and before going to sleep. Doing exercise should never feel like a chore or an obligation, there is a reason exercise is considered a recreational activity, it’s supposed to make you feel relaxed and clear minded, not filled with fatigue and irritation. It’s never wrong to prepare for a social outing, preparing mentally is a great way of reducing the stress from the unknown. For example, be sure before going out that you have your keys, wallet, phone (headphones if they help), and if necessary a stress toy to keep your mind off the world. There is no rule on how to approach a social situation, never feel bad for taking it slow and in small groups. Try focusing on other things or external factors to reduce the intensity in your brain, maybe have a friend talking to you about different topics, create hand signals when you are uncomfortable, and even grab some food that you like or never tried. A great tip is to use logic against those negative thoughts, are you really sure everyone is looking at you or is that your perception? Can everyone really be looking at you? Not true, some may be looking but don’t let your brain magnify those thoughts (WebMD, 2017).

To end things off, never feel ashamed or bad because you have social anxiety, of course it’s easier said than done yet remember that you are not alone. Even though your experience might be different from others, some people will be able to empathize with you and make you feel loved and secure. Expressing your emotions is natural, don’t try to hide them to please others, if you are uncomfortable in a situation say so or leave. Don’t force yourself to become someone else because others made you do it. The best advice is be yourself and others will come to aid you. If you know someone with social anxiety, the key is to be patient. Never force them into situations trying to “fix” them, that will only make things worse.