Gender Fluidity
- onceuponageneratio
- Jan 8, 2022
- 3 min read
To begin with, gender identity is not as simple as a doctor labeling someone a girl or a boy at birth. We know this because not everyone who is assigned boy or girl at birth grows up to identify as male or female, respectively. Although we may intellectually understand this, we may still face challenges, judgments, or biases in understanding and celebrating gender fluidity in our friends, family, students, and colleagues. Hence, it is important to consider the identity of being gender fluid.
What is gender fluidity? Gender fluidity is often is used to mean that a person's gender expression or gender identity — essentially, their internal sense of self — changes frequently. But gender fluidity can look different for different people. For example, someone who is gender-fluid may say they are a boy one day and align themselves more with being femme the next day.
Who can be gender-fluid? A wide range of people are gender-fluid and not all of them have the same understanding of their gender. Some gender-fluid people are trans and others are not. Some gender-fluid people refer to themselves as a fluid man or a fluid woman and others fluctuate between nonbinary genders. What's important to remember is gender is very personal and no two gender-fluid people have to have the same identity or way of thinking about their gender.
Throughout the years, decades, and centuries, “children and teens who express or identify their gender differently from their sex designated at birth are more likely to experience prejudice and discrimination.” These experiences are harmful to their mental and physical health. Compared to cisgender youth, transgender youth are two to three times more likely to have depression, anxiety, self-harming behavior, and suicidal thoughts and behavior. Hence, it is important to learn and help your peers who are gender fluid.
Here are some ways you can help/be an ally:
Introduce yourself with your name and pronoun. Stating your pronouns reminds people that it might not always be immediately obvious what pronoun someone uses
Put your pronouns in your email signature or social media profile
Instead of addressing groups of people with binary language such as ‘ladies and gentlemen, try more inclusive alternatives such as ‘folks’, ‘pals’ or ‘everyone’
Use words that define the relationship instead of the relationship and gender. For example, use ‘parents’, ‘partner’, ‘children’ or ‘siblings’
Not everyone is comfortable with gendered titles such as ‘Ms’ or ‘Mr’. Titles are not always necessary, but if they must be used it’s good to provide alternative ones such as ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix or mux)
Use the singular ‘their’ instead of ‘his/her’ in letters and other forms of writing, i.e. ‘when a colleague finishes their work’ as opposed to ‘when a colleague finishes his/her work’
Not everyone necessarily uses ‘he’ or ‘she’ pronouns and it’s important to be respectful of people who use different pronouns. The most common gender-neutral pronoun is the singular ‘they’ (they/them/theirs). Using people’s correct pronouns shows that you respect them and who they are.
Using the pronoun ‘they’ is very useful when someone’s gender or identity is unknown. You will often already be using it without realizing, i.e. ‘somebody left their hat, I wonder if they will come back to get it’
Make sure that your workplace, school, and college policies and documents use inclusive language, i.e. using ‘they’ instead of ‘he/she’ and avoiding sentences that imply two genders. Where specifically talking about gender identity, make sure it is inclusive of non-binary gender identities and not just trans men and trans women
When highlighting LGBT people in your events or as role models, make sure you include some non-binary role models too
It may take a bit of getting used to, but it causes you no harm and it will make that person feel acknowledged and validated.
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